Psychology Place

Should we follow our dreams?

Should we follow our dreams?

By Dr Karen Weiss

It happened to me the other day. Just one small indecisive moment that set life off in a different course. The first reaction is to rationalise, justify, explain the reason for the universe not delivering according plan. This works for a short period and then the swamp, the overwhelming ordeal of an anxiety that goes beyond words into that dark space of dread….OMG what have I done, I’ve failed, I’ve been beaten, I can’t trust myself anymore.

Surely we have all been here at some point. For some, the decision will be seem life changing and for others it will be life changing or it could be both or neither. My lost moment came in the shape of a yet unrealised dream that I had projected into the acquisition of a particular place. We often do that …..we leverage a dream into an acquisition. The classic new house, sport car, new job …they are all going to help us realise our potential and our sense of purpose.
So in being unsuccessful in my acquisition for the perfect place, my head started doubting everything my heart has ever said to me and chucked a few key insults at me along the way….see you’re actually a coward, you can’t realise this dream. You had a chance but you lost it.

Well maybe that’s true, maybe I have to accept that I was scared, that my dream seemed too big, chaotic and unformed and I got pushed about by fear. Fear to represent my self clearly, to be strong in my position, to be true to what I knew that I had to do.

So what now, what’s left to salvage of this or better still how can I make this something that doesn’t turn me away from my dream but pushes me further toward it. After all every person whoever followed their vision will tell you that the set backs were what made the journey important and meaningful.  While  successes determine what we have, it is our setbacks that determine who we are.

I have heard many stories of lost dreams  from people I have worked with in practice. The stories are plentiful with grief, sadness and at times shame. It is often hard to decipher when to give up the dream and see the setbacks as the reality. There is truth in this, some dreams are too much about ego and maybe, should not  be realised, some are too much in the imagined self and so can never find embodiment in action, some are just tooooo big, trying to supplement for some vacant space or sense of emptiness in a persons life. We can spend a whole lifetime dreaming but never doing, maybe that’s ok!

The learning now…your dream has a plan for you just as much as you have plans for your dreams. You need to be patient and sure, clear and determined, work hard and find good people to help you. The rest will come ….just maybe not quite according to plan!