Psychology Place

How do I know I have a problem with…

Depression

It is normal for people to have ups and downs is life. We know that depression is a word that is sometimes used instead of sad or miserable but clinical depression is different. Often there is no clear cause and the symptoms have been around for some time without your usual ways of coping having much effect. You may identify with several of the following signs and symptoms and have felt them for a majority of the time over the last two weeks:

You feel hopeless and helpless
You feel less connected to loved one
You have lost pleasure in things that you would normally enjoy
You can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how you try
Your appetite has changed
You aren’t going out as much as you usually do
You have had significant weight loss/gain
You feel tired and run down all of the time
Your sleeping patterns have changed.

Depression looks different in men and women, in young people and older adults. We also know that it has a genetic basis and you may be at more risk of depression when it is in the family. Depression is also completely treatable with psychology and sometimes, if required, medication. If you think you, or a family member, or friend are suffering from depression you should seek a referral from your GP and we can then assess your condition and work with you on the most appropriate treatment.

Anxiety

Anxiety can affect both your mental and physical health. Sometimes the symptoms of anxiety are not that obvious as they develop gradually and given that we all feel anxious occasionally, it is difficult to know how much is too much. Some of the symptoms for anxiety can include: a racing heart, hot and cold flushes, snowballing worries and obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviour. You may feel on edge all the time and your sleeping patterns may be disturbed by worry. These are just some of the symptoms that you may experience. If you find that these symptoms are affecting your life in adverse ways such as making you constantly irritated and in a bad mood, making you fret that something bad will happen, upsetting you whenever you make changes and/or stopping you getting a lot done because it has to be perfect, then you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Talking about anxiety is a really great help alongside changing life style and learning relaxation and mindfulness techniques. If you feel like you need help with this and your anxiety is not going away, call us on 9696 2432 to make an appointment with our psychologists.

Relationship Stress

However much a couple may love each other, the individuals in a relationship often have very different perceptions, emotional responses and values systems and it isn’t surprising that couples can find themselves ‘gridlocked’ into vicious circles of anger, despair, blame and guilt. Thus, whilst relationships can be a great source of fulfillment, they can often take a lot of time and work.

A good indication that a relationship is not functioning well is when you notice any of the following in either yourself or your partner:

Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling

You may also notice a tendency to emotional triggering – feelings that escalate negative interactions within your relationship and lead to:

Feeling judged
Feeling excluded
Feeling ashamed
Feeling lonely
Feeling powerless

Couples counselling provides a safe and objective arena to discuss your concerns. Its like taking your car in for a regular service…if we don’t pay attention to relationship repairs and maintenance, things break down! A GP referral is not required for relationship therapy. Several of our psychologists have considerable experience in couples work and are well trained to assist you.

Emotional Regulation

Our emotions can often change and they sometimes drive our behaviour. Being able to regulate our emotions means that we have the ability to respond to and manage particular feelings, rather than being managed by them.

You may have problems with emotional regulation if you:

React impulsively to situations based on your emotions
Can’t control your angry, anxious or addictive cravings and feelings
Can’t control where you focus your attention
You have a lot of trouble calming yourself down or cheering yourself up
Can’t control your feelings when interacting with others

There are also other signs that are less obvious, like a tendency to withhold your emotions or act in a passive way even when you feel angry or resentful. This tendency can lead to bottling up and explosiveness unexpectedly.

Good emotional regulation is essential for good relating, a strong sense of resilience and confidence and general well being. With emotional regulation you to learn how to identify your emotions, understand what they are saying to you and find healthy ways that you can express emotions to others. Funnily enough, emotional intelligence and regulation is not taught in school and often not well handled in families. In this sense, we all can have trouble with our emotional management and sometimes have to do some work on ourselves to become more appreciative of our own emotional world and that of our loved ones.

An eating disorder

Eating disorders are very common in our society and come in a wide variety of presentations. Sometimes it is hard to identify if you have a problem with eating because we all have our peculiar ways of managing food and weight. Eating disorders can also creep up on you if you get too habitual or too obsessed about food or weight and don’t realise that your pattern of eating is negatively affecting your mental and/or physical health. Some common signs that you may have an eating disorder include preoccupied thoughts about food and weight, large weight loss or gain, making excuses not to eat food around other people, worrying about losing control around food, and not listening to others about your weight and food behaviours.

Diagnosable eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia are most common in females but are also emerging in the male population as there is more focus on body image with men. The impact of these conditions on the individual and the family is often devastating and the family members should also seek help.

Ante Natal Couple Stress

Turning a couple into a family is always a source of joy but inevitably is also a source of stress as you get used to sleeplessness and new routines. Extended family support is crucial so when this not available a couple may feel isolated and unstable.

The signs of couple stress at this time are usually obvious. A certain irritability and a lack of connection are the mostly apparent but this may also extend to guilty feelings and depression if things get too much. It is our belief that all couples can do with some assistance at this very important time. The expectation on couples to adjust and be happy in itself can cause self doubt and worry. Why aren’t we coping well, everyone else seems to manage! But this is not the case. All couples struggle no matter how good they are together. You just need to talk things through and work out new ways of coping together.

Sometimes our own experience of our childhood comes thundering in as we become parents. This can be confronting when our experiences were not what we want for our children. Being able to have some reflective time on this really goes a long way to becoming the parent you want to be.

Life Transitions and Adjustments

Most people are aware of the transitions and developmental stages which children go through: the terrible two’s, teenage angst and the recent elongation of adolescence well into the 20’s. Adults also go through transitions although not to the same degree with the best known being the transition into the mid-life years. Life adjustments might also occur through external circumstances such as changes in employment and stresses in relationships.

Difficulties in life transitions and adjustments are often signaled by problematic mood states (anger, resentment, depression) and changes in behaviour where there is a difficulty dealing with others especially those close to us or intimately involved in the life change. You might feel stuck in a cycle of difficult emotional responses with no way to adjust to the change in a way which feels satisfactory. In order to address a difficult transition it is often useful to consult with someone who is outside the circle of the problematic situation and can provide perspective as well as sound strategies to engage with change.

Life transitions and adjustments can be great opportunities to deal with outmoded patterns of relating and can open up an individual to new life opportunities. If you or a loved one are grappling with a difficult transition call our psychologists to see how we can help.